Apr 16, 2014 | Bout News

Beauty and the Bruisers: The Championship Preview

Spend more than a few minutes on the internet and you’ll find no shortage of folks screaming for your attention. It’s easy to get a little jaded after hearing about the “epic” sale on flat-screen televisions, the shocking kitten video that you literally will not believe, and the 34 most ridiculously incredible photos that will change the way you look at vegetables. Everything is bigger, bolder, pop-uppier.

But if you know where to look in all the commotion, you might occasionally find something truly special: talented individuals, well prepared, performing at the top of their ability. In roller derby, it happens when two teams are tightly knit, closely matched, and motivated to push just a little bit harder than they thought they could. It’s impossible to predict with certainty, but when it happens it’s something worth being there for.

Through ten seasons, fans of the Minnesota RollerGirls have shown that they appreciate that kind of bout. So instead of screaming at you, imagine me, Fire Wally, looking you in the eye and telling you calmly, but directly…

This is gonna be a good one.

Here’s why:

10 Years of Waiting

In 10 seasons of Minnesota RollerGirls home bouts, only one team has failed to bring home the Golden Skate – the Garda Belts. Over the years they’ve fielded some incredible skaters and won some excellent bouts, but this one crowning achievement has yet evaded them. With the addition of top scorer Slambda Phage and the tenacity of blockers like Anita Spankston, Shiva Shank’n, and Betty LaRude, this year might be the best chance they’ve ever had to win it all. The Gardas were the highest scoring team during the regular season by a substantial margin, and have shown few signs of weakness.

The one obstacle left on their road to glory will not be easy, however.

The Defending Champs

The Atomic Bombshells won last year’s Golden Skate, and from their play this year it looks like they’re not ready to give up the title. The Bombshells were the only team to win over the Gardas this season, but stayed just ahead of a late Gardas rally that nearly cost them the game. The Bombshells’ most important asset this season has been teamwork in the pack – watch as veterans like Diamond Rough and Bully Jean direct and fortify up-and-comers like Steel Magnalia and Terror Swift to form an impenetrable defensive wall.

Two teams at the top of their game, fighting for one incredible trophy. That’s the headliner. But let’s not forget the opening act

The Grudge Match

Neither the Dagger Dolls nor the Rockits will bring home the Golden Skate this year, but that doesn’t mean they won’t go out swinging. This will be the Rockits’ chance to stay out of last place and the Dagger Dolls’ opportunity to reclaim some of the magic of the Gilded Steak mini-tournament at the start of the year. It’s also a chance for both teams to switch up their rosters a bit and give their rookies some additional playtime, so expect to see more new faces in the pack and behind the jammer line.

Fuller Packs, Faster Action

Both bouts on Saturday will get an exciting boost from the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association. The recent WFTDA Rules Changes have shortened the duration of penalties to 30 seconds, which means more jams will start will full four-on-four packs. Expect to see a tighter, more defensive, harder-hitting game in both bouts. Watch for how teams balance offense and defense, choosing either to use a blocker for offense or “wall up” all four blockers to stop the opposing jammer.

The action on the track looks to be fierce, but the most important ingredient is still in the stands.

Thousands of Screaming Fans

That’s right, we need you to make it all happen. The home season championship usually packs the Roy Wilkins Auditorium to the rafters, but luckily there’s not a bad seat in the house. Get your tickets today to be a part of roller derby history.