Minnesota RollerGirls - Flat-track, skater-owned roller derby league in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul

We explored the ins and outs of the April 3rd MNRG season championship in the previous article. Now our attention turns to the Garda Belts and the Dagger Dolls, who will fight it out for third place.

In 2009, I wrote that the Dagger Dolls were in the midst of a pregnant pause. That pause has now lengthened into a multi-year slump that has puzzled players, refs, and fans alike. Candi Pain and Sweet Justice, co-captains of the Dollys, selected fast, eager jammers to fill the holes left by a swath of last year's retirees and blockers that have already proven themselves to cause some panic in the pack. The Dolls have had fresh injections of strong, fast talent each year...but they have not yet been able to focus that energy into the team at large on bout nights. They have lost their last ten games, and you must believe that they want to finish this season on a win.

The Garda Belts' record over the past two years has been more storied. They strode into last year's finals off of strong performances by their captains Suzie Smashbox and Citizen Pain as well as a pack of veteran players whose skills had been honed by all-star play. The Rockits pushed back and took the win. Since that bout, the Gardas have only scored one victory. Considering that victory was against the Dagger Dolls (59-50), we should ask whether this match will simply be a repeat performance of that narrow win.

Before you answer that question, there is one big problem that will play a big part in this matchup. This season has been absolutely brutal to the Garda Belt roster. While Angelfire may have returned to the active list, we have lost rookie AliSin Chains to Chicago. A few Gardas are playing injured, and we just received word that Damnzelsly - a new, strong blocker with the brains to be where the action is - has been taken from the roster due to a serious leg injury. Rita Rawkus and Savage Animal have sat out the entire season due to leg problems. In addition, several players have had to miss bouts due to obligations outside of the derby; remember - the MNRG is a volunteer organization. Women play for the love of the sport, but sometimes life gets in the way. The Gardas may be playing a smallish core of vets along with rookies Stacy Wrekt and Cassie Rolle. The women in green will probably have a very short roster.

That said, let's talk about what we hope to see in the 3rd place bout:

* Cleaner jams from the Dollys. In January's bout between these two teams, the Dollys kept a far better head about jams without penalties than we saw against the Rockits. As the season has progressed, two new jammers - Killamon Jaro and Patently Offensive - have begun to show ability to stay out of trouble. As always, the problem of players in penalty trouble is that playing at the jammer line risks ceding a power jam to the opposing team. The Dollys must score and keep on the track for them to break the losing streak.
* More jamming from the rookies on both sides. The Dollys drafted in some of the fastest, brightest players from this season's class of new blood. They've been playing MNRG roller derby for almost a full year, and this may be the time to let them loose. All of them will still need a hand for their initial pass through the pack...but what jammer doesn't? Meanwhile, keep your eye on Cassie Rolle of the Garda Belts. Coach Seamonster and the Garda captains have slowly been opening the lid on this agile rookie all season. She's been training as a pure jammer and the use of her as a scorer instead of Citizen Pain or Tiki Torture will keep the front of the pack strong by keeping their fast blockers chasing Dollys. These players are the future of their respective teams; it's time for them to claim their spot.
* Suzie freakin' Smashbox. How long have we been talking about this fluid, Green jammer? Since season 3, Garda captain Suzie has been tearing up the track and every team that has been victorious against the Gardas has had to come up with a strategy for dealing with her. The Bombshells played the same pack of power blockers against her almost every jam, while the Rockits boxed up her trailblazers through the pack (Tiki Torture and Hanna Belle Lector). Suzie has consistently scored the lioness' share of Garda points; the Dollys must find ways to close down that powerful, sprinting stride.
* Smart, modern derby. Just because these two teams have had one victory lap between them throughout the season doesn't mean they're oblivious to how the game is played. The problem is execution. Both teams are ready to showcase their skill for the Roy audience. The Dolls? They're finding ways to block out defenders and move their jammer through more quickly. If you use strong hitters like Sparkle Ninja, Wonderbroad, Buffy, and Sinnamin, the Dollys could have walls in the back that will delay Gardas for precious seconds...or even the whole jam. The Garda Belts' absolutely relentless recycling of the pack (particularly speed-skating heavies Citizen Pain and Tiki Torture) has been very effective - and Green players able to expand that strategy will make it that much more difficult for Dolly jammers.

This bout may also come down to a race. The Garda Belts play a slightly faster game than the Dagger Dolls. If the Gardas are given the ability to speed up the pack or to change up the pace, the Dolly defense could fall afoul of penalties as they try to hit, maneuver, and block at speed.

In terms of numbers, the loss of so many Gardas over this season means more players in Green will be skating many, many jams. Nothing kills a clean hit like exhaustion, and the refs will be watching. Conversely, some have mentioned the large Dagger Doll roster as a point of weakness; oft-recycled players don't get as many chances to coalesce.

Two final roster notes: the Gardas have received a freshly-minted player from the derby-crazy Pacific Northwest. Folks, please welcome BethAnne Destruction, a former Jet City Rollergirls player, to the Garda Belts. Sadly, Dagger Doll blocker Shiv & Let Die will not be on the track on Saturday; she's been playing injured recently and will not be part of the final bout. Shiv, get well quickly; the MNRG's 7th home season begins in October...and we want to see you in the pack.

That's it. All he wrote. Now, get those tickets. There are a little over a thousand left at the time of this writing, only available now through Ticketmaster and the Roy box office. First two hundred at the door on April 3rd will get get a free bout t-shirt, and let me tell you, folks...this one's gorgeous. Get in line early, pick up your t-shirt, take your seat, and join us as we conclude the sixth season of the Minnesota RollerGirls.

Writing from where all the women are strong, all the men are accessories, and all the children turn left,
-Garrison Killer

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Season Seven begins with fifteen new faces

At an undisclosed location on Thursday, August 19th, the MNRG welcomed fifteen new players to the ranks of their home teams. Of those fifteen, five came from other leagues (the Mad Rollin' Dolls of Madison, Minneapolis' own North Star Roller Girls, and Angel City in Los Angeles), nine players new to our sport from recruitment, and one from our own team of refs. In addition, we recruited two new referees and a new announcer.

Because of the new season schedule, these fifteen rookies will have much to learn about their respective teams in a very short time. Rookies have not traditionally played for their home team before January, but this year they will play in two months on October 16th. Watch for these players, derby fans.

The Atomic Bombshells welcome to their ranks:
Hurtrude...

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Some words with Ump: the North Central Referee Clinic (August 8th)

“We’re running basically every officiating position out there.” Umpire Strikes Back tells me. Fifteen refs assembled on the Roy Wilkins auditorium floor circle two scrimmaging packs of Minnesota RollerGirl and North Star Roller Girl players. With his dyed yellow hair peeking out from a painstakingly-detailed Death Star derby helmet, Ump looks like any child’s favorite cool uncle. More importantly to us, Umpire Strikes Back (#1138) is the Minnesota RollerGirls head referee. The buck, such that it is, stops with Ump. And he does it with a bit of an infectous grin. He loves this sport.

From behind that grin, you can see a touch of fatigue. It’s Day 2 of the North Central regional clinic on a hot August day, and it’s clear that every ref here - caravaning from every corner of the...

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Referee Clinic

The Minnesota RollerGirls are excited to announce that we have been selected to host the first ever WFTDA North Central Referee Clinic on August 7th and 8th. Officials from around the country will be joining our own referee staff in a two day intensive seminar right here in St. Paul. Lead and attended by top level referees and officials, this clinic will bring everyone together in preparation for the Fall's "Big 5" regional and national tournament season.

WFTDA Referee Training Clinic Registration Site

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MNRG go 2-0 in Philly

The Minnesota RollerGirls returned to competitive play this past weekend at the East Coast Derby Extravaganza in Philadelphia, PA. The ECDX has been a major gathering point for sanctioned bouts between leagues of all skill levels over the past few years.

The Extravaganza is a time for old friends and derby wives to reconnect and close a few bars together, but the ECDX’s position in the derby calendar also makes it one of the very last stops before ranking occurs for WFTDA’s Q3 rankings. The 3rd quarter ranking (decided upon by other WFTDA skaters) decides the seeding of leagues for the four regional tournaments, so the outcomes of the ECDX bouts have a great influence on who’s in and who’s out. It’s the last chance for teams to show off before voting, in no small part due due to...

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VIP Sections Now Available

VIP Sections are now available! Are you bringing a large group of people to see the Minnesota RollerGirls? We are offering limited VIP seating at all of our bouts, starting for our October 16th bout! Packages range from $200 to $800. Please visit our online ordering form and reserve your VIP section today!

The Minnesota RollerGirls are also excited to announce new reserved seating for the 2010-2011 season! There will be additional reserved seats available on the main floor and in the balcony. They are $12 in advance/$14 day of bout for the balcony, with the extra main floor seating $13 in advance/$15 day of the bout. For any fans interested in ordering Season Tickets in these area...

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Season 7 begins now!

It's time for the Season Seven news. Let's begin with the retirements. The following players will be stepping back next season (we call it 'going Class C'):

Atomic Bombshells:
- Flora Flipabitch
- Mae Gusta
- Misfit Maiden
- Shady O'Dread

Dagger Dolls:
- Buffy the Vampire Skater
- Miss Fire
- Shiv and Let Die
- Sweet Justice

Garda Belts:
- Little Tornado
- Rolls Wilder

Rockits:
- Dudezilla

Referees:
- Rocky Whorer
- Glam Slam

But we've got a few players who will be rejoining from years past. Soylent Mean returns to her beloved Rockits, while savvy track veteran CleoSPLATra will don the orange and green for the Atomic Bombshells.

But there's more, MNRG fans! We have ...

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The Wheelies

It's Wheelies time! Every year our players, refs, and volunteers travel to an undisclosed location, crack open a PBR (and maybe sneak in a flask or two), and honor the best of our best for two hours of tears, cheers, and fairly awesome dresses. On May 1st we honored the following players:

Fan Awards:
Favorite Jammer - Suzie Smashbox
Favorite Pivot/Blocker - Vuedoo Prodigy
Favorite Rookie - Killaman Jaro
The Lappy - Vuedoo Prodigy

League Awards:
Most Valuable Minnesota RollerGirl - Vuedoo Prodigy
Rookie of the Year - Killaman Jaro
Head Trauma (MNRG founder) Legacy Award - Rumblebee
Most Improved - Cassie Rolle
Hardest Hitter - Vuedoo Prodigy
Speed Demon - L'exi-cuter
Best Attitude - Mitzi Massacre and Citizen Pain (tie)
Purple Heart - B...

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Atomic Bombshells go hot for the championship, 78-58

The Atomic Bombshells defeated the Rockits in a thriller of a game - a Rockitbuster, if you will - on April 3rd at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium. The Bombshells played their strategy to their utmost, summoning every resource they could muster to send their jammer to the front. And though it seemed as if penalties in the pack might end their hopes to hold the Golden Skate high, the Bombshells emerged triumphant.

Harmony Killerbruise took the first lead for the Rockits, but Bombshell jammer Venus Thightrap forced her to call the jam by bypassing on the sprint to the back of the pack. L'exi-cuter, recharged from last month's break, found a way around Rockit blocker Scarmen Hellectra up front (who went to the box off an illegal hit), took the lead, and charged ahead for the f...

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Gardas outplay Dolls for 3rd, 74-45

The MNRG Garda Belts took the game to the Dagger Dolls on April 3rd in a third-place bout that was rarely in doubt. The Gardas has long had a strong presence in the pack, but the surprise in this bout was the coming-out party for Cassie Rolle and the resurgence of Angelfire as a jammer after years of injury and rehab. With both sides of the Garda machine going, the women in green took the lead more than 75% of the time. The Dolls had their surges of excellence, but the Gardas took the day.

The Garda Belts stole an early march from the opening whistle. Garda co-captain Suzie Smashbox took the first lead after being denied by Doll blocker Shiver Me Kimbers. She recovered and returned to slash past Kimbers and Buffy the Vampire Skater. Garda blocker Tiki Torture delayed Killamon J...

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Bombs away! (recaplet)

Bombshells take the Title, 78-58

The Atomic Bombshells skated their way to MNRG history on April 3rd, defeating the two-time defending champion Rockits and finishing the home season undefeated. The Bombshells started well, scoring eleven unanswered points in the first four jams. At the halfway mark, the Rockits had at last started to get their line-grinding defense to start sending opponents to the box and getting points on the board, but the Bombshells still outscored them. 19-7 Bombshells with ten to go.

The scoring tide came in for the Rockits the very next jam as Vuedoo Prodigy busted free for the Rockits and scored fourteen points on a power jam (and changing the lead) as Venus Thightrap languished in the box. Harmony Killerbruise, then Scarmen Hellectra followed up for anoth...

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