Minnesota RollerGirls - Flat-track, skater-owned roller derby league in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul

The MNRG all-stars treated their fans to an hour-long highlight reel on Saturday night. Minnesota's finest took to the track and placed the The Hammer City 'Eh! Team' between an unrelenting jammer staff and an irrepressible defense that laid seige to most of the Canadiennes' scorers. On a night that could yet spawn countless youtube videos, Minnesota defeated Hammer City by a point margin of 149 points.

Despite the remarkable differential, Hammer City made every MNRG fan's heart race just a little bit as they took the first two jams and six points against a Minnesota team slow to respond against an unknown threat. HCRG's Carla Coma overcame a strong challenge from Tiki Torture on the initial pass for two before calling off the jam. Carla's teammate Vicadoom grabbed the next lead and four after besting MNRG pivot Venus Thightrap at the far edge of the front straightaway.

Harmony Killerbruise then blasted past against HCRG's Cut Off. Beginning a lead jam streak that would stretch over ten minutes, Killerbruise blasted through that Eh! Team pack for a clinical four points. Psycho Novia claimed another four as Carla Coma became acquainted with Jax Kvaas and the Minnesota pack. Minnesota took the lead, 9-6 with five minutes gone.

After Suzie Smashbox withstood a brutal incision from Hawkeye Fierce and scored two, L'exi Cuter stepped to the line against Cut Off. It's hard to say whether the young Minnesotan actually looked up at the scoreboard and said, "Double it," under her breath...but that's what she did, and more besides. As Hammer City split their attention between L'exi and attempting to break an impregnable MNRG pack locked around Cut Off (who eventually was sent out on a penalty), L'exi Cuter took advantage and scored fourteen points on the power jam. Harmony used the remaining time unopposed to score five in the following jam. 30-6.

Psycho Novia continued that run with a remarkable, straight-up triple slam against Hammer City's Mean Little Mama, and Suzie took another four while Vuedoo Prodigy ran interference against Eh! Team's pivot Bitchslap Barbie. Minnesota up 49-6. With fifteen to play in the half and a 43-point advantage, Hammer City was clearly having problems both holding back the Minnesota offense as well as recovering rapidly from the takedowns it received. Minnesota's veteran staff used both of these facts to their scoring advantage, knocking down players so that the jammers could speed past to take quick, riskless points.

HCRG's Vicadoom stopped the bleeding with three points for Hammer City as L'exi got caught up by Dicey. Cut Off led the next jam, but Harmony Killerbruise snuck through the pack for four unanswered points as Cut Off skated behind the pack, futilely looking for a line through. Psycho Novia followed Harmony's example as she scored four to Carla Coma's lead jam for one. L'exi returned with another double slam, and suddenly the point advantage was over fifty; Minnesota 67-10 with eight remaining.

Things became no more comfortable for Hammer City. Over the last four jams of the half, Hammer City scored only one more point as Carla Coma and Cut Off both found themselves behind a grim wall of MNRG blockers. Whether the booty-blocks from Scarmen Hellectra, Tiki's aggressive hunting, or Venus Thightrap's control of the front, Hammer City spent the bulk of their time just getting their jammer through the pack. Does anyone doubt the power of a good defensive pack? Suzie Smashbox - with five minutes remaining in the half - used that blocking advantage to score nineteen points - a near-quadruple jam without the benefit of lead or power jam. At the half, Minnesota had taken a nigh-insurmountable lead, 94-11.

Harmony Killerbruise and Carla Coma returned from halftime and took to the line. Carla Coma grabbed the lead and a fast two points with Harmony hot on her heels before calling the jam. Psycho Novia returned fire with a four-point, low-to-the-ground jam while Citizen Pain and Misfit Maiden took care of her opponent Vicadoom. It's worth noting that Misfit was having the time of her life attempting to psyche out Hammer City; whenever she started the pack as back blocker, she just turned around, stared like a dead woman at the opposing jammer, and smiled like she wanted her spleen...and then shot forward into the pack on the first whistle. 98-13 Minnesota.

With only three minutes gone in the second half, Suzie Smashbox scored Minnesota's fifth double-digit jam against Hammer City. Those sorts of numbers are extremely difficult to come back from...and the Eh! Team's troubles worsened as Vicadoom tangled with Diamond Rough. After getting her clock cleaned by a rough ride to the outside, Vicadoom was sent to the penalty box on a back block - and Harmony just accelerated. QUADRUPLE SLAM - 20 points. 136-13.

Hammer City got two on the next jam as Cut Off took the lead. The Eh! Team got a second lead as Carla Coma jammed against Tiki Torture (normally a back blocker), but without scoring. L'exi responded with four, and Harmony scored ten more off by watching the pack from afar for openings as she approached...as well as two Diamond-assisted whips. Fifteen to go, Minnesota 150-18, with Harmony scoring thirty in the previous two jams.

The rest of the game continued in much the same way; Hammer City would gain a lead (often Carla Coma, who confounded the Minnesota pack with speed and an ability to turn on a dime), but the opposing Minnesota jammer would soon beat the Canadian pack and limit Hammer City to 2-4 points. The Eh! Team could not find a way to stop or delay a Minnesota jammer. In fact, Hammer City only lapped a jammer once in fifty-eight jame, early in the first half. Individuals of the HCRG pack - Suffrette, Dicey, Hawkeye Fierce - all found ways to stick MNRG, but the MNRG would then clear the way to get the player through. Just as Hammer City scored their first jam of more than four points, time expired on the clock and the teams exchanged handslaps and respect as the Roy crowd cheered. Final score 195-46.

The Minnesota RollerGirls' next bout will be against Sioux Falls at the Roy on December 19th. See you there!

Your bonus stats (provided by MNRG statistics...preliminary numbers):

MNRG
75 Harmony Killerbruise   7-9, 63 pts
91 Suzie Smashbox         3-6, 39 pts
187 L'exi Cuter           4-9, 38 pts
109 Psycho Novia          3-6, 29 pts
55 Venus Thightrap        1-1, 8  pts
25 Honeydew Felon         0-2, 8  pts
313 Misfit Maiden         0-2, 7  pts
H8U Tiki Torture          1-2, 3  pts

HCRG
621 Carla Coma            7-13, 24 pts
420 Vicadoom              6-12, 12 pts
706 Cut Off               2-11, 10 pts
0 Mean Little Mama        0-1,  0  pts

(3-6 means 'three lead jams of six' - special thanks to Our Man Flip for these quick stats!)

Pizza Luce player of the game: Diamond Rough

Featured Event

This incredibly popular and fun event is back for a third year! The day will include over 2 hours of roller derby drills, games, and fun led by your favorite Minnesota RollerGirls. No previous skating experience required! Open to ages 4-20; guardian must be present and safety gear (helmet, wrist guards, knee & elbow pads) ...

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Featured Skater

Dieann Isis

Grr.

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B2TV Streaming

Unable to attend the upcoming Minnesota RollerGirls events in person? You don't have to miss out on the action - all of this year's bouts will have high-quality live streaming courtesy of B2TV.

Events will be available for purchase ten minutes prior to the action beginning.

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News

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Rockits triumph over Dolls, 129-37

At this point in the history of the Minnesota RollerGirls, no one expects a player to take a swipe at a rival. Fights are basically stories that old-timers tell the rookies about from the first couple of seasons. Still...there is rivalry in the MNRG, and no two teams have a more tempestuous one than the Dagger Dolls and the Rockits. The two teams have a different (if equally passionate) outlook on our sport; the Rockits tend to embrace the new, interleague road-warrior style of play, while the Dollys' core seems to rest in taking the classic big blocks with fast, fast jammers. In past years, these differences have manifested themselves in unusual ways. This year, the match was the thing, and the teams left it on the floor of the Roy.

Dolly jammer Psycho Novia broke out in the fir...

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Bombshells hold back Gardas 67-42

Saturday's match between the Atomic Bombshells and Garda Belts took an unexpected turn even before the first jam had begun. L'exi-cuter could not make the match due to outside obligations. As L'exi had provided half of the Bombshells' points over the past two jams, the Bombshells would have to up their defense and force principal jammers Mae Gusta and Venus Thightrap to further step up their own jamming. Meanwhile, the Gardas looked at this match as a last shot at the season championship. To be guaranteed a berth in the finals, they would have to defeat the Bombshells by forty-seven or more. Certainly a possibility, but Suzie Smashbox, Cassie Rolle, and Angelfire would need to keep charging through the Bombshell pack to make it happen.

Suzie Smashbox started strong for the Garda...

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MNRG Hometeam Bout 3 Preview

Before we start talking about these matches, a quick update from our ticket folks. Our non-Xcel/Roy/Ticketmaster outlets sold out as of Monday, but there are still plenty of tickets. However, if you know that you're coming a little later for this bout, why not pick them up this week at the Roy Box Office (open 10-6pm) or through Ticketmaster?

If you have tickets already, come early and get in line. While it's great that there are no bad seats in Minnesota's own House of Derby, the bout is going to be packed and that usual seat that you love might not be available if you don't show up a bit ahead of time.

Also, we are very pleased to announce a change in next year's schedule. We will be flipping the calendar so that the home teams will begin in October and the season championship ...

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MNRG Finals outlook 2010: by the numbers

Two bouts remain in the Minnesota RollerGirls season. The results from March's bout will determine who will compete to raise the coveted Golden Skate (currently held by back-to-back winners, the Rockits) and who will play for third. Right now, no team has confirmed their berth in the season championships...though two teams definitely have the edge right now.

For those unaware, the MNRG send the top two teams forward to the finals. In the case of a tie in W-L, the team with the top overall point differential (points scored on opponents - points allowed) gets the spot. Looking only at the numbers - the win-loss record and the points, not the personalities or the relative strengths of the teams - this is what your MNRG home teams must do to secure a spot at the jammer line for April...

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Rockits take Gardas 118-35

Sweet mercy, we sold out! Thank you to all of the fans who joined us for Saturday's bout; we scanned 4723 tickets...but considering all of the children that come to our bouts that go unticketed, Roy staff, and MNRG volunteers, it's very likely that the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium played host to 5,000 women, men, and children!

The extent to which this matchup was anticipated could not be underestimated. With the Gardas a game ahead of the Rockits at the start of the bout, the Gardas had an opportunity to shut the Rockits out of the season championship for the first time since the women in red rose from the ashes of the first season's Silver Bullets. Couple that with their sixty-point defeat at the hands of the Rockits in the last season championship, and you really have all of...

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Atomic Bombshells defeat Dagger Dolls, 63-38

Sweet mercy, we sold out! Thank you to all of the fans who joined us for Saturday's bout; we scanned 4723 tickets...but considering all of the children that come to our bouts that go unticketed, Roy staff, and MNRG volunteers, it's very likely that the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium played host to 5,000 women, men, and children!

The Atomic Bombshells entered this match with a 1-0 record; having narrowly defeated the Rockits in January, the Bombshells were looking for another win to firm up their championship berth in April. The Dolls were a game behind after a nine-point defeat by the Garda Belts and needed this win to reasonably seek the berth. With a three-game season before the finals, every point in every game counted...particularly in a season as close as this one.

The D...

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Saturday night turnout

We'd like to thank our fans for the HUGE turnout on Saturday night. We've never had to turn people away at the door before and that's both an exciting and sad moment for us. Exciting because we're happy and honored so many wanted to come out. Sad because we'd never want to have to turn people away. We hope that if you didn't make it in on Saturday, you'll come back March 6 for our next bout.

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Season 6, Bout 2 preview

On Saturday, diehard Minnesota RollerGirls fans and newcomers alike will rush the doors of the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium to watch the next step in the evolution of derby in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

Our first home bout rocked the derby world as the Rockits - reigning two-time champions - were laid low by the Atomic Bombshells. The Rockits must now win Saturday's bout - a repeat match of last year's season championship against the Garda Belts - to control their destiny. The Dagger Dolls are in a similar fix; their seven-point loss to the Gardas in January means that they must win against a transformed Bombshell team to have a strong chance to acquire the Golden Skate. We'll talk more on the win-loss situation in a moment, but let's look at Saturday's games.

The Atomic Bombsh...

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Garda Belts beat back Dolly assault, 59-50

Last year's bottom-ranked Dagger Dolls took on the Garda Belts, (2009 runners-up), for this first bout of the new home season. There was expectation that this would be a high-scoring game as a bevy of Dolly speedsters took on Suzie Smashbox. It really was anything but that. Although the teams had less than five practices before this bout as the Dolls and as the Gardas, the close scores and the heavy reliance on delaying the jammer instead of knocking her out denoted a bout fought between two strong packs instead of a battle of star-wearing skaters.

After months of playing with one another on the MNRG All-Stars, Dolly #109 (Psycho Novia) skated next to her opponent Suzie Smashbox and took her stance at the jammer line. The jammers threw themselves forward, but Suzie boxed up Psycho's ...

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Set to maximum yield, Bombshells break Rockit streak, 78-76

For many fans of the Minnesota RollerGirls, the Rockits have always been the winners. They just win; they're the serious, hard-working, take-care-of-your-body kind of players that can tell you the ins and outs of the game as they outdrink you. If you started attending bouts in Season 4, you've never known anything different. On Saturday, the Rockits lost. More importantly, the Atomic Bombshells - under the leadership of Mitzi Massacre and Misfit Maiden - played a smart game and beat the back-to-back champions of the Minnesota RollerGirls in a match that brought the fans roaring to their feet.

Venus Thightrap - lately the prime pivot for the All-Stars - returned to her jammer roots for the Atomic Bombshells against Harmony Killerbruise for the first jam. As the jammers made their way ...

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