Minnesota RollerGirls - Flat-track, skater-owned roller derby league in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul

In the first preview of the upcoming home season, we asked the captains of the Dagger Dolls and the Garda Belts about their teams. We now turn attention to the other bout on January 2nd...Rockits versus the Atomic Bombshells.

Atomic Bombshells:
Captain: Mitzi Massacre #3
Co-captain: Misfit Maiden #313
Last won the Golden Skate: 2007
Colors: orange and lime green

We asked each team a set of questions; here is what Mitzi Massacre wrote:

Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A The Atomic Bombshells are confident but not cocky, skilled and athletic but real warm-hearted and spirited, individually strong but collectively bad-bleeping-ass. If you don't know we're the orange team, just look for the girls that are calmly recycling themselves in the pack and picking off blockers and jammers with (atomic) aplomb!

Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
A BOOMbay Safire has such a sweet disposition that it's shocking when she knocks a shoulder into your sternum. You just don't see it coming. We've noticed a sorta preternatural awareness of who is on the track and where. Expect her to see her heavy hitting as a Blocker and Pivoting eventually.

We liked Double D. Fense right away because she gets that look in her eye right before she takes someone down that tells you the hit is going to be right on target. Dubs is relentless and just totally eyes on the prize at all times.

Madame de Stompadour comes from having spent a season with the Auld Reekie Rollergirls of Edinburgh, Scotland. She's taking it slow on an injured knee so far and has just stepped up with amazing sideline support for the team in this first year. Expect to see her jamming and definitely blocking in the back of the pack; she's got a very solid and fast stride on her.

We fortunate that our rookies apparently talked before the home season started and decided to get their major injuries over and done with early on in their derby careers. You'll see two of them toughing it out on the track through a separated shoulder (Double D.) and dislocated fingers (BOOM).

Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A We just really like each other and got each other's backs at all times, on and off the track, and this is pretty huge when it comes to keeping our head in the game. We know this season is ours for the taking and we're ready! Though we went 2-2 last year, we saw it as hugely successful in a rebuilding year and all games were still very competitive. Individually, our players are very strong but it is the confident, collected way we work together on the track that we will use to win the game. We try to spend a lot of time on skill-building and techniques like visualization, but when it all comes down to it we just have a ton of fun together playing this game and believe we have both the physical and mental skills to win.

Q Who is that guy with the mask and the crazy fire extinguisher?
A That's Meltdown, the coolest mascot of the Atomic Bombshells. He wears that visor and carries that extinguisher around due to an childhood accident resulting in head trauma that now causes a mysterious powerful optic beam that shoot from his eyeballs. It's pretty cool. Also, Meltdown is the inspiration for Beach Party Meltdown, who appears randomly at our bouts. Look for him this season!

Garrison's take:
Every couple of years, the Bombshells have gone and reinvented themselves. In 2006, veterans converged on the team and created a superteam that defeated all comers. Last year, Misfit Maiden and Mitzi took on the gargantuan task of filling seven openings with rookies (not old hands at the game) and whipping the chaotic mess into a damn fine derby team. That team is now in its second year, and it has the potential to break the Rockits' nine game streak of wins.

Last year, the Bombshells started playing anyone who wanted to jam; we ended up seeing ten different women at the jammer line, six of whom jammed more than ten times. The more depth you have for jammers, the fewer problems that you will have when several jammers are in penalty trouble. What's more, the Bombshell jammers were sent to the box only fifteen times throughout the season; only the Rockits did better at keeping their penalty sheets clean. The offensive firepower of this team is only going to improve; the Bombshells have been deeply involved with the All-Stars this summer, and several of the women in orange played in heavy rotation as scorers.

The front of the Bombshell pack is going to be very, very tough this year. Venus Thightrap earned her All-Star blues as a pivot, not a jammer. Against Carolina, against Hammer City, and against Sioux Falls, Venus showed herself to be a phenomenal presence. When you put her in the front of the pack, the opposing team had a strong tendency to not score. The Bombshells have got other strong pivots as well...whether Diamond Rough, Chinese Takeout, or Misfit Maiden, the Bombshell pack is going to be well-managed this year.

Rockits:
Captain: Coochie Coup #333
Co-captain: Abbie Mischief #318
Last won the Golden Skate: 2009 (current champions)
Colors: red and silver

We asked each team a set of questions; Coochie Coup sent us these answers:

Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
A The Rockits are a very competitive, egalitarian team. For us derby is more sport than show so we work hard and have a tight team dynamic. We try and focus on strategy and working with people’s strengths and minimizing their weaknesses. We like to enjoy derby and understand that winning is enjoyable. Plus, I think we are geek chic w/ a love of cake and gummi bears.

Q Tell us a little about your new crop of rookies.
A They are f***ing awesome. We feel very lucky to have them and each of them is a great fit for our team. They have great attitudes and work hard both and outside of practice. They are getting better every day.

Q Why are you going to win your first match in the home season?
A Because we are superior – physically, mentally, and culturally. The Rockits have always stepped it up for a bout in ways that continue to impress even a hardened Captain like myself and I expect a continued unbeaten streak and the Golden Skate Three-peat. We don’t need big talk – they will hear us just fine on the track Saturday night.

Q Will the loss of any previous skaters impact how the Rockits play?
A No, this team is deeper than my cleavage.

Garrison's take:
The Rockits are, simply, the team to beat. No team has defeated them in two seasons; should they defeat the Bombshells, The Rockit Streak goes to ten. But this is a new year. Slate's clean and Jawbreaker, Dudezilla, and Soylent Mean - three of the top five jammers for the 2008-9 Rockits last year - are gone from the roster. Jawbreaker alone scored 40% of the Rockit points. The trick for the other teams is to not breathe a sigh of relief from this news.

The thing is, the secret of Rockit success has never been at the jammer line; it's the suffocating Red Wall defense. The Rockits allowed 130 points over five games; every other team allowed at least 300 over the same period. What does that mean to the fan of other teams? Watch your packs. Teams must clear the way for their jammers; the Rockit pack is guarded in the back by the likes of Vuedoo Prodigy and Honeydew Felon. If they pass the back, the back blockers move up and scrape the opposing jammer off the front walls made of Scarmen Hellectra, Coochie Coup, Rizzo, and Pain Gretzky. With the loss of several dedicated Rockit jammers, opposing scorers might not have to race as fast to the front of the pack to get the lead, but scorers must still find a way through, and their teams must help them. So far, no one's pulled it off long enough to beat the Rockits.

2010 is nigh. It's a new year, a new season, and a new run for glory. This is the moment that you have waited for, derby fans. Saturday starts the clock on the countdown to April's season championship. Doors will likely open early; beat the rush and find yourself a seat for the best season yet (you know, deep down, that this is true) at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium. Don't miss a moment.

Reporting for the Minnesota RollerGirls,
-Garrison Killer

Featured Event

This incredibly popular and fun event is back for a third year! The day will include over 2 hours of roller derby drills, games, and fun led by your favorite Minnesota RollerGirls. No previous skating experience required! Open to ages 4-20; guardian must be present and safety gear (helmet, wrist guards, knee & elbow pads) ...

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Featured Skater

Dottie Hazzard

he name Dottie Hazzard may ring familiar with the men-folk of St. Paul, as she's been here before. Dottie left the neighborhood years ago, when the heat of the fuzz and mob-bribes got to steep to k...

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B2TV Streaming

Unable to attend the upcoming Minnesota RollerGirls events in person? You don't have to miss out on the action - all of this year's bouts will have high-quality live streaming courtesy of B2TV.

Events will be available for purchase ten minutes prior to the action beginning.

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News

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MNRG Hometeam Bout 3 Preview

Before we start talking about these matches, a quick update from our ticket folks. Our non-Xcel/Roy/Ticketmaster outlets sold out as of Monday, but there are still plenty of tickets. However, if you know that you're coming a little later for this bout, why not pick them up this week at the Roy Box Office (open 10-6pm) or through Ticketmaster?

If you have tickets already, come early and get in line. While it's great that there are no bad seats in Minnesota's own House of Derby, the bout is going to be packed and that usual seat that you love might not be available if you don't show up a bit ahead of time.

Also, we are very pleased to announce a change in next year's schedule. We will be flipping the calendar so that the home teams will begin in October and the season championship ...

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MNRG Finals outlook 2010: by the numbers

Two bouts remain in the Minnesota RollerGirls season. The results from March's bout will determine who will compete to raise the coveted Golden Skate (currently held by back-to-back winners, the Rockits) and who will play for third. Right now, no team has confirmed their berth in the season championships...though two teams definitely have the edge right now.

For those unaware, the MNRG send the top two teams forward to the finals. In the case of a tie in W-L, the team with the top overall point differential (points scored on opponents - points allowed) gets the spot. Looking only at the numbers - the win-loss record and the points, not the personalities or the relative strengths of the teams - this is what your MNRG home teams must do to secure a spot at the jammer line for April...

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Rockits take Gardas 118-35

Sweet mercy, we sold out! Thank you to all of the fans who joined us for Saturday's bout; we scanned 4723 tickets...but considering all of the children that come to our bouts that go unticketed, Roy staff, and MNRG volunteers, it's very likely that the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium played host to 5,000 women, men, and children!

The extent to which this matchup was anticipated could not be underestimated. With the Gardas a game ahead of the Rockits at the start of the bout, the Gardas had an opportunity to shut the Rockits out of the season championship for the first time since the women in red rose from the ashes of the first season's Silver Bullets. Couple that with their sixty-point defeat at the hands of the Rockits in the last season championship, and you really have all of...

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Atomic Bombshells defeat Dagger Dolls, 63-38

Sweet mercy, we sold out! Thank you to all of the fans who joined us for Saturday's bout; we scanned 4723 tickets...but considering all of the children that come to our bouts that go unticketed, Roy staff, and MNRG volunteers, it's very likely that the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium played host to 5,000 women, men, and children!

The Atomic Bombshells entered this match with a 1-0 record; having narrowly defeated the Rockits in January, the Bombshells were looking for another win to firm up their championship berth in April. The Dolls were a game behind after a nine-point defeat by the Garda Belts and needed this win to reasonably seek the berth. With a three-game season before the finals, every point in every game counted...particularly in a season as close as this one.

The D...

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Saturday night turnout

We'd like to thank our fans for the HUGE turnout on Saturday night. We've never had to turn people away at the door before and that's both an exciting and sad moment for us. Exciting because we're happy and honored so many wanted to come out. Sad because we'd never want to have to turn people away. We hope that if you didn't make it in on Saturday, you'll come back March 6 for our next bout.

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Season 6, Bout 2 preview

On Saturday, diehard Minnesota RollerGirls fans and newcomers alike will rush the doors of the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium to watch the next step in the evolution of derby in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

Our first home bout rocked the derby world as the Rockits - reigning two-time champions - were laid low by the Atomic Bombshells. The Rockits must now win Saturday's bout - a repeat match of last year's season championship against the Garda Belts - to control their destiny. The Dagger Dolls are in a similar fix; their seven-point loss to the Gardas in January means that they must win against a transformed Bombshell team to have a strong chance to acquire the Golden Skate. We'll talk more on the win-loss situation in a moment, but let's look at Saturday's games.

The Atomic Bombsh...

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Garda Belts beat back Dolly assault, 59-50

Last year's bottom-ranked Dagger Dolls took on the Garda Belts, (2009 runners-up), for this first bout of the new home season. There was expectation that this would be a high-scoring game as a bevy of Dolly speedsters took on Suzie Smashbox. It really was anything but that. Although the teams had less than five practices before this bout as the Dolls and as the Gardas, the close scores and the heavy reliance on delaying the jammer instead of knocking her out denoted a bout fought between two strong packs instead of a battle of star-wearing skaters.

After months of playing with one another on the MNRG All-Stars, Dolly #109 (Psycho Novia) skated next to her opponent Suzie Smashbox and took her stance at the jammer line. The jammers threw themselves forward, but Suzie boxed up Psycho's ...

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Set to maximum yield, Bombshells break Rockit streak, 78-76

For many fans of the Minnesota RollerGirls, the Rockits have always been the winners. They just win; they're the serious, hard-working, take-care-of-your-body kind of players that can tell you the ins and outs of the game as they outdrink you. If you started attending bouts in Season 4, you've never known anything different. On Saturday, the Rockits lost. More importantly, the Atomic Bombshells - under the leadership of Mitzi Massacre and Misfit Maiden - played a smart game and beat the back-to-back champions of the Minnesota RollerGirls in a match that brought the fans roaring to their feet.

Venus Thightrap - lately the prime pivot for the All-Stars - returned to her jammer roots for the Atomic Bombshells against Harmony Killerbruise for the first jam. As the jammers made their way ...

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Home Season Six preview: Dagger Dolls and Garda Belts

The handmade capes, the Robber outfits, the Supervillain shirts that were tragically not for sale...they're all gone. League mixers are the past and on Saturday, January 2nd, 2010, the Minnesota RollerGirls begin the home season. The road to the Golden Skate has been cleared, and every team awaits the first whistle on Saturday night. In this and the following preview, we will reintroduce you to the four teams of the MNRG and we'll look ahead to the upcoming home season.

Dagger Dolls:
Captain: Candi Pain #666
Co-captain: Sweet Justice #i4ni
Last won the Golden Skate: 2005
Colors: pink and black

We asked each team a set of questions; here is what Candi and Sweet Justice reported back:

Q How would you explain your team to a person who's never come to a bout?
...

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Home Season Six preview: Atomic Bombshells and Rockits

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