Team Merchandise
Are you a supporter of this team? Well then you should be outfitting yourself in gear that shows your colors! Each of the teams has its own merch available at our bouts and in our online store. Get yourself a team shirt, wristband, or set of this season’s trading cards and support your favorite team.
Patently Offensive, #281
Rockits
Derby Date of Birth: Season 6, 2009
Position(s): Blocker, Jammer
Athletic Background:
In addition to skating fast on her roller skates, Patently Offensive loves fast-paced sports including: road biking, downhill skiing, and inline speed rollerblading. During college, Patently Offensive competed in the collegiate ski nationals in slalom and giant slalom. After college, she biked 2700 miles from Anchorage, Alaska to Minneapolis.
Bio:
Patently Offensive (35 U.S.C.) 281 uses the track to find an appropriate remedy for patent infringers. While being versed in patent law, Patently Offensive has found “pun-ishment” on the track to be more effective in deterring patent infringement than protracted litigation. Whether it be jamming past the opposing party or blocking the opposing jammer from entry into the field (of blockers), it is unlikely the referees will find Patently Offensive committed inequitable conduct.
Team Roster
Active Roster
- Abbie Mischief
- Commander Nix
- Coochie Coup
- Cookies 'n Scream
- Frau Scientits (co-captain)
- Harmony Killerbruise
- Honeydew Felon (co-captain)
- IcePack
- KillaHertz
- Kit Shinkicker
- Konceal'n Kari
- MeshugEnough
- Pain Gretzky
- Patently Offensive
- Salvador Brawlie
- Scarmen Hellectra
- Soylent Mean
- Trixie Whipsum
- Vuedoo Prodigy
- Wanda Wreckonwith
Team Retirees
- Anesthesia
- Dudezilla
- H Bomb
- Jawbreaker
- Phyllis Drillher
- Pucks Bunny
- Randi Stroyer
- Rizzo
- Snake Bite
- Trinity Knox
