2012-2013 Season Schedule
Season nine is in full swing with the Minnesota RollerGirls - Minnesota’s original roller derby league.
Saturday, September 8
WFTDA Regionals, Sept. 14-16
Saturday, October 6
WFTDA Championships, Nov. 2-4
Saturday, November 10
Saturday, January 19
Saturday, February 16 with Minnesota Swarm
Saturday, March 2
Saturday, March 23
Saturday, April 6
Bout Recap: Hook Line and Sink Her: Miss Quitos nose ahead of Loon-a-Ticks, 96-67
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
The Preamble: Welcome to the Roy Wilkins Auditorium only two weeks after the Dagger Dolls defeated the Rockits in an incredible finale to the home team season. While the MNRG All-Stars take on the Old Capitol City Roller Girls later tonight, this bout is the start of our mixer season, where two of our hometeams will face off against the other two.
This time, it’s the Rockits (aka – according to former All-Star and Rockit captain Frau Scientits – Team Drink) and the Garda Belts skating against the monsters, rookies, and monster rookies of the Atomic Bombshells and the Golden Skate-holding Dagger Dolls. The ‘Garda Rocks’ will be playing in white under the name ‘Miss Quitos’, while the ‘Dagger Bombs’ will wear in black as the ‘Loon-a-Ticks’.
THE COUNTDOWN – Countdown duties go to the fine women of the U of M women’s rowing team, Teresa Logemann and Kristen Skogland, celebrating National Women in Sports Day. Nice shout out to former rowing member Norwegian Mafia (tonight of the Loon-a-Ticks).
OPENING WHISTLE – Jam #1 – The Loons are putting two-year veteran Freeze Baby against two-year veteran Moto Fluzzi for the Quitos. Fast rolling start; Moto takes a lap to beat back the Loons and scores two as Freeze Baby gets sent to the outside just as re-enters the pack. Good pace to start the bout.
Jam #2 (Miss Quitos 2 – Loon-a-Ticks 0): The Loons’ Rumblebee gets dropped by Sweet Justice while Loon jammer Madame de Stompadour rocks the pack something fierce…for a GRAND SLAM!! We’ve been seeing Stompy step up in the past twelve months; seeing her drop a slam at the Roy? Not bad.
Jam #4 (Quitos 2 – Loons 9): Ah, there we are. First knee start of the game from the Miss Quitos with the opposing side light in the pack (that is, there’s four pack players for the ‘Quitos, while the Loons only have three). That forces the jammers to start immediately, wasting no time while the in-box blocker has to seethe in the box. The Miss Quitos’ jammer takes advantage of the light pack and pulls another four. Fast work for the former All-Star.
Jam #5 (Quitos 6 – Loons 9): Messi v Moto – POWER JAM as Moto goes to the box. Messi’s having some issues with fellow rookie Buzz Tightrear and Betty LaRude. She gets through, but calls it early to keep Moto in the box.
Jam #6 (Quitos 6 - Loons 9): Freeze v Moto: Freeze forces the ‘Quitos too fall ahead laps and pulls a grand slam with barely a brush from her opponents. That’s another good jam from Atomic Bombshells in this bout.
Jam #7 (Quitos 6 - Loons 14): Abbie v Madame: That’s two-for-two for Stompy, taking the traditional ABS outside lane for the lead jam. No points; very fast.
Jam #8 (Quitos 6 - Loons 14): Frau v Fannie: ‘Quitos are three-walling, but Flora knocks it apart. No matter, Frau gets the lead, hits it, and quits it. Fannie sneaks in for one.
Jam #9 (Quitos 10 - Loons 15): Lydia v Moto: SLLOW start, and with a ton of space between the jammer line and the pack, the jammers are off like shots. Moto nails the lead jam, gets held up by Hanna Belle Lector and Sweet Justice, and perseveres for four. Moto is continuing to come into her own as an effective jammer in this bout.
Jam #11 (Quitos 14 - Loons 15): Two hyperfast jams. The pack got caught napping each time as both jammers stormed the front of the pack and decided to call it instead of risking points from the other team.
Jam #13 (Quitos 14 - Loons 18): This game is very close fifteen minutes in. Both teams’ jammers have been careful as lead jammers watch for the opposing scorer to reach the pack…and calling it before they can engage. Freeze takes three; Frau gets another four in the next jam and calls it.
Jam #13 (Quitos 18 - Loons 18): TIE GAME. Moto v Fannie: Moto Fluzzi strings out the Loons to get the lead, but the Loon-a-Tick defense descends on her, causing enough trouble that she doesn’t see Fannie looping back. Fluzzi gets two, but Fannie steals one on her.
Jam #14 (Quitos 20 - Loons 19): Lydia v Bee. Lydia Punch for the Loon-a-Ticks breaks through first, but the Miss Quitos’ Rumblebee gets the lead with a clean initial pass. However, ‘Bee can’t stop the jam before Lydia snags a point off of an out-of-position rear blocker.
Jam #15 (Quitos 20 - Loons 20): Tie game. Again. This time it’s Messi Jigler against the Miss Quitos’ Tara Bichapart, and the marvelous Hanna Belle Lector grinds out Tara on the inside. Tara gets a penalty, and Messi gets the go-ahead jam with a double grand slam.
Jam #16 (Quitos 20 - Loons 30): Freeze Baby comes in as jammer with Tara still in the box. Freeze gets the lead, then her blockers clear the inside lane…giving the Loon-a-Ticks another grand-slam-plus. She doesn’t seem to notice Tara Bichapart coming back in, screaming through the pack, and stealing three points from the Loon-a-Tick lead jam. LEAD CHANGE.
TWEEET! That’s halftime. The game has been very close; the Loon-a-Ticks have been banking heavily on their Atomic Bombshell rookies and 2nd-year players (as well as the charging Madame de Stompadour); the bet seems to be paying off. The last two jams send the Loons ahead. HALFTIME SCORE: Miss Quitos 23 – 37 Loon-a-Ticks.
Short halftime – only five minutes. Wait. Did Wet Spot just regenerate AGAIN? It seems as if he’s…gotten some more hair? Something’s different.
Short halftime – INTERVIEW SEGMENT. Left 4 Deadwards shows her game face and her ‘aw, Hell, we’re playing #2 North Central’ face to the audience, while Harmony explains that a strategy that the All-Stars has been using for the past year works and why it’s liable to make some jammers make a sad-panda face.
Jam #1 (Miss Quitos 23 – Loon-a-Ticks 37): Moto v Cleo: Slow off the jammer line as the blockers take their time, but CleoSPLATra gets a lead jam and a point. That’s ANOTHER Bombshell jammer killing it for the Loon-a-Ticks.
Jam #2 (Quitos 23 - Loons 38): Rollercat v Bee: WOW. Olga twists Rumblebee into a heap on turn 3, but ‘Bee uncurls and gets the lead jam while Rollercat can’t bust through the four-pack. The Miss Quitos’ legendary veteran in the bumblebee stockings notches another two points to her career total.
Jam #3 (Quitos 25 - Loons 38): Freeze v Abbie: Freeze nearly gets drawn into a back block major, but shakes it off and takes the lead. Freeze shoots straight into a three-wall and tries to force through. Nothing doing, but she does score two for the Loons.
Jam #4 (Quitos 25 - Loons 40): Bombs v Brawlie: POWER JAM. Welcome to the party, Salvador Brawlie! The second-year Rockit cleanly passes through the pack for the lead just as opposing jammer Bombs Over Bacon gets a track cut penalty. Coochie Coup and Rita Rawkus cordon off the Loon-a-Tick blockers. Loon blocker Skullateral Damage dumps Coochie in an attempt to give her own jammers some space; Skully goes to the box for her troubles. Brawlie scores a double slam.
John Maddening has just mentioned that the Miss Quitos have just dropped the gap to a five-point game. Skullateral Damage looks at the camera from the penalty box and grimaces. Still plenty of time, Skully.
Jam #5 (Quitos 35 - Loons 40): Ema v Moto: That’s another lead jam for Moto as the Miss Quitos take a knee to take advantage of the light Loon-a-Tick pack. Moto gets four and this is a one-point game. A timeout is called.
Jam #6 (Quitos 39 - Loons 40): POWER JAM AND STOMPY’S ON FIRE. Madame de Stompadour takes the ABS-patented outside lane and the lead. With a track cut from Rumblebee, that makes it a power jam and Stompy drops a triple slam on the Miss Quitos.
Jam #7 (Quitos 39 - Loons 55): POWER JAM TO THE QUITOS. Another knee start for the Miss Quitos. Tara Bichapart uses the instant-start advantage against the Loon-a-Ticks, and it turns into a power jam as a failed jump across the apex sends Fannie Tanner to the box. Stacy Wrekt, Coochie Coup, and Glam Slam start punishing the Loon pack, and Tara Bichapart uses the distraction to score eighteen. Blocker execution + jammer execution is a killing equation. That’s a lead change!
Jam #8 (Quitos 57 - Loons 55): Stryper v Shug. QUITO POWER JAM #2.The Loon-a-Ticks try to get help their jammer Stryper through and miss Miss Quito jammer Meshugenough sneaking up on the outside. Lead jam to the Quitos. Stryper goes to the box, and it’s another power jam. Boogie-Woogie-Shuggie scores a double-slam.
Jam #9 (Quitos 67 - Loons 55): QUITO POWER JAM #3. Messi v Moto: The Loon-a-Ticks line up on the inside, barring Moto Fluzzi from advancing, so her offensive blocker Buzz Tightrear pushes in some Loon-a-Tick blockes, creating a go-lane for Moto. Meanwhile, Messi Jigler gets hit with a track cut. That turns out very well for the Quitos; with two other blockers in the box, that puts four blockers against two with only Moto on the track. Moto nails a 17-point jam.
Jam #10 (Quitos 84 - Loons 55): The Loon-a-Ticks are still running a short pack, and Rumblebee tears through the inside for the fast lead. Opposing jammer Stompy gets called with a track cut, and that’s QUITO POWER JAM #4. ‘Bee gets four, and suddenly the Quitos have taken a huge lead with only a few jams remaining.
Jam #11 (Quitos 88 - Loons 55): Madame de Stompadour is still serving her penalty, but Miss Quito Abbie Mischief gets sent out as Bombs over Bacon forces a track cut on her. Stompy pulls a fast five and calls it to get a fresh jammer.
Jam #12 (Quitos 88 - Loons 60): Freeze Baby is now on the line, running unopposed with Abbie in the box. Freeze gets the lead, but can’t score before Abbie gets out of the box. A timeout is called by the Loon-a-Ticks with only five seconds to go. They need more than a little magic right now; I don’t believe anyone’s ever pulled an unanswered six-lap slam in a mixer bout.
Jam #13 (Quitos 88 - Loons 60): Freeze Baby goes back to the line for the line against Frau Scientits. Freeze gets the lead and the pack starts going very fast as the Miss Quitos start nursing the clock. Frau gets out of the pack as well, and Freeze simply can’t score fast enough.
TWEEEEET! That was some comeback; the Miss Quitos outscored the Loon-a-Ticks 73-30 in the second half, in no small part due to four straight jammer penalties from the Loons. FINAL: Miss Quitos 96 – 67 Loon-a-Ticks.
Miss Quitos—96 Points
15 Lead Jams
14 Jam Wins
5 Power Jams
Moto Fluzzi - 6-8, 29 pts
Tara Bitchapart - 1-4, 21 pts
Frau Scientits - 3-4, 20 pts
Salvador Brawlie - 1-1, 10 pts
MeshugEnough - 1-1, 10 pts
Rumblebee - 3-6, 6 pts
Abbie Mischief - 0-5, 0 pts
14 Lead Jams
12 Jam Wins
4 Power Jams
Madame de Stpmpadour - 4-6, 26 pts
Freeze Baby - 5-7, 24 pts
Messi Jigler - 3-4, 10 pts
Fannie Tanner - 1-4, 5 pts
Lydia Punch - 0-3, 1 pt
Rollercat - 0-1, 0 pts
Bombs Over Bacon - 0-1, 0 pts
EmaLeethal - 0-1, 0 pts
May 02, 2013
The Minnesota RollerGirls close their season down with its annual celebration of the league’s best and brightest. WHEELIES RESULTS AHEAD.
April 11, 2013
Three times the ABS went ahead; three times the Rockits almost caught up. The unstoppable Atomic Bombshells earn a third spot on the coveted MNRG hometeam trophy.
April 10, 2013
Led by vets and rookies alike, the Garda Belts triumphed and controlled the track against a short-staffed Doll team.
April 08, 2013
Gardas take 3rd against the Dagger Dolls in our final night of the season.
April 08, 2013
A member of the Minnesota RollerGirls since season 1, Hanna is an intimidating presence on the track. Off the track, she’s a huge part of helping to develop the next generation of RollerGirls!