2012-2013 Season Schedule
Season nine is in full swing with the Minnesota RollerGirls - Minnesota’s original roller derby league.
Saturday, September 8
WFTDA Regionals, Sept. 14-16
Saturday, October 6
WFTDA Championships, Nov. 2-4
Saturday, November 10
Saturday, January 19
Saturday, February 16 with Minnesota Swarm
Saturday, March 2
Saturday, March 23
Saturday, April 6
News
Bout Recap: Kansas City Stops Minnesota, 240-148
Monday, September 10, 2012
Minnesota’s unbeaten streak at the Roy came to an abrupt halt on Saturday when the 2007 WFTDA Champion Kansas City Roller Warriors came to town. KC converted five first-half jammer penalties into over one hundred points over the course of fifteen minutes.
Minnesota - and their fans - were also surprised to see Kansas use the movement-killing tactic popular on the coasts of stopping the pack dead during power jams to pull more points from Minnesota.
MNRG All-Stars (North Central #2) v KCRW (South Central #2):
Early go-ahead
The Kansas City Roller Warriors took the opening points of the bout; Track Rat bust through the MNRG scrum while Trauma (a recent transfer from Cincinnati) dropped L’exi-Cuter. ‘Rat scored four.
Minnesota then went on a tear, taking eight straight lead jams. KC’s blockers had the lateral movement to get in front of Minnesota’s nimble jammers, but Minnesota prevailed, accumulating 46 points to Kansas City’s one over ten minutes’ time. L’exi scored fifteen alone on a power jam, slicing through holes created by Scarmen Hellectra (the Derby 4 All Game-Changer of the bout). Second Hand Smoke and Juke Boxx assaulted the opposing pack as jammers, moving like sledgehammer-wielding dervishes to break open KC’s walls.
KC’s Mary Lou Wretched took a fast four in the eleventh minute to restart Kansas’ engines, but Minnesota jammer threat Harmony Killerbruise laid down a 14-point jam against her opponents. Crust Almighty (newly-minted All-Star and MNRG member) showed she could play with the best as she and the defense held KC’s JamaLamaDingDong for almost two minutes. 60-9, Minnesota up.
Play comes to a stop
Kansas City got their heads together. Track Rat came to the line against Juke Boxx, looked forward past Minnesota’s two blockers at her own defense, and determinedly pointed at Juke. ‘This,’ she seemed to say, ‘is what you need to think about.’ KC held Juke long enough for Track Rat to score nine. Annie Maul (who played for almost three quarters of the game) and Ruth Canal held the agile jammer back for almost a minute.
Two jams later, the floor fell out. MNRG’s Second Hand Smoke got nailed with a track cut major, sending her to the box for a minute. KC’s Enigma bust out of the pack, and KC’s defense stopped and simply lined up on the outside lane. Minnesota’s team moved back to create space to block; Kansas moved backwards to put Minnesota just on the edge of where they could engage the jammer.
This tactic, derby fans, is charitably called the Patient Offense. The power jammer’s team doesn’t have to block; it just stays within range of the other team so the opposing blockers are stuck. Move forward with the jammer, and get called on ‘Out of play.’ Move backwards to hit, and you’re caught by a clockwise block. Minnesota was effectively being given six inches of the track in which to block.
Minnesota had the short end of the ‘Patient Offense’ stick. Their players - trying to block KC’s jammer - got called on penalties and were sent to the box. Second Hand Smoke flew out of the box to save her team and get the game moving again…but came in too hot, hitting a KC player from behind. Back to the box for Smoke. The next jam began with her sitting in penalty. KC’s Patient Offense reformed.
Kansas scored 44 points in those two jams. Over the next ten minutes, the Kansas City Roller Warriors would score another eighty-five as Minnesota accrued three more jammer penalties. KC’s Enigma and Track Rat just kept quietly lapping the pack as an increasingly frustrated MNRG tried to move.
The crowd, too, got restless. Our volunteers reported from the stands after the bout that the fans simply didn’t get what was going on. Power jams are easy to understand, but the lack of movement on the track was hard to comprehend. Minnesota plays high-intensity derby - even when there’s one jammer on the track. The Roy stands started to boo KC’s tactic.
Halftime
At the half, Minnesota went to their locker room trailing 140 to 79. Over one hundred points had been scored by KC off of Minnesota’s time in the box. Minnesota’s defense had been dealt a huge blow by the P.O. as well - putting several into serious foul trouble while trying to stop the KC jammer.
Staunching the bleed
The first half ended with two Minnesota blockers in the box. Harmony Killerbruise - by far the most valuable jammer of the game for the MNRG with 71 points and ten lead jams out of eleven skated - screamed around the outside of the track and took the lead. However, Minnesota needed its blockers. As a result, Harmony kept the jam going until her team’s defense had returned to the track. Opposing jammer Track Rat scored another nine to Harmony’s one. 149 to 80, KC up.
Minnesota and KC dueled for ten minutes. When Minnesota had the numbers on the track, they controlled the game and held Kansas. However, Minnesota’s frustration kept getting the best of them and many continued to be sent to serve penalties. Their jammers (Harmony, L’exi, and team co-captain MEDUSA) would bleed time from the clock to get them out, but that just allowed the KC jammers more time to score. With twenty minutes to go, KC was up 169 to 93.
P.O.
At the 40th minute, L’exi-Cuter was sent to the line with three minor penalties. She hit the pack and caught her fourth. KC reformed the sausage-like Patient Offense formation. Enigma scored fifteen against Minnesota, but Minnesota started to find ways to ‘snag’ the pack by skating slowly forward, pulling the KC team apart so that they would be caught out with ‘pack destruction’ plays.
Still, Minnesota’s play still sent many MNRG defenders to the box before the pack could reform.
Harmony came back in the next jam and careened through for thirteen - again taking more time than she needed to allow her teammates to serve out their penalties. MNRG 192 - KC 113 with only fifteen minutes left.
MEDUSA and L’exi each scored a lead jam to the cheers of the crowd, and it seemed that we might. MEDUSA returned to the line three jams later, but a low block on the front straightaway gave KC another chance to pull back, stand still, and score points. Minnesota caught lead on five of the last seven jams, but in the process Shiva Shankin, Tiki Torture, and Scarmen Hellectra were sent from the game after spending seven minutes in the penalty box.
Harmony finished the game on a high note, scoring fifteen on a power jam against KC’s incredible jammer Enigma.
FINAL: Kansas City 240 to 148 Minnesota.
KC’s use of the Patient Offense stopped the pace of the game, but it was Minnesota’s penalty troubles (especially at the jammer line) that allowed KC to get the drop on the MNRG. Minnesota gets their big chance to play their high-intensity, squad-based strategies this coming weekend at the North Central regionals. Want to see your All-Stars take on the best of the Midwest? Start checking http://wftda.tv for details.
Kansas City gets their own shot at regional glory two weeks later in Nebraska at South Central regionals. We wish them the best.
Box scores:
KANSAS CITY ROLLER WARRIORS — 240 Points
17 Lead Jams
8 Power Jams
143 Points Off Power Jams
31 Grand Slams (five-point laps)
20 Jam Wins
Track Rat - 4-11, 75 pts
Enigma - 4-10, 74 pts
Hypersmacktivity - 5-10, 42 pts
JamaLamaDingDong - 0-4, 31 pts
Mary Lou Wrenched - 4-6, 18 pts
MINNESOTA ROLLERGIRLS — 148 Points
24 Lead Jams
2 Power Jams
20 Points Off Power Jams
14 Grand Slams
20 Jam Wins
Harmony Killerbruise - 10-11, 71 pts
L’exi-Cuter - 6-12, 30 pts
MEDUSA - 3-7, 19 pts
Juke Boxx - 3-4, 14 pts
Second Hand Smoke - 2-7, 14 pts
Reporting from the Roy,
-Garrison Killer
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