2011-2012 Season Schedule
Get ready for a season eight with the Minnesota RollerGirls - Minnesota’s original roller derby league.The fall bouts will feature your favorite four home teams and the winter/spring months will feature the All-Star bouts.
Saturday, October 15
Saturday, November 19
Saturday, December 17
Saturday, January 21 (home team championship)
Saturday, February 4
Saturday, February 18 with Minnesota Swarm
Saturday, March 3
Saturday, March 31
News
Bout Recap: Night of Hard Knox: Rockits launch into Championships; Dolls go undefeated
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Dagger Dolls vs Atomic Bombshells
After the opening countdown by the shirtless Brosephs (one of the MNRG’s crack cadres of travelling road fans), L’exi Cuter of the Bombshells took off against Psycho Novia of the Dagger Dolls and ping-ponged through the pack to claim lead jammer. On the following scoring pass, Bombshell blockers Diamond Rough, Hurtrude Stein, Venus ThighTrap, and Smoka Hontas coordinated to push the Doll blockers to the outside, clearing a lane for L’exi to score three and call off the jam.
The very next jam saw Dagger Doll jammer Ova Achieva sneak through on the inside line while Doll blockers Second Hand Smoke and Angelfire trapped Bombshell jammer Freeze Baby. The Smoke and ’fire duo kept Freeze caught up through two scoring passes, giving time for Ova to create a 9–3 Dolls lead.
A 0–0 jam followed, and then a 4–0 jam for Psycho Novia, passing the last orange blocker through a hole cleared by Hanna Belle Lector. As Bombshell jammer Messi Jigler approached the pack on the next jam, Tiki Torture pushed out teammate Bombs Over Bacon to slow Messi down, then followed with a massive hit that bowled over the orange jammer. Meanwhile, Ova Achieva struggled to pass Smoka Hontas and Diamond Rough at the front of the pack, then scored three to make it a 16–3 dolls lead.
After a scoreless jam, L’exi picked up a quick four n’ out against Dolls jammer Naughty Kitty. Angelfire picked up two against Fannie Tanner’s one to make it 18–8. On the next jam, Ova Achieva got blasted by Mitzi Massacre and Smoka Hontas, but recovered to steal one point before lead jammer Messi Jigler called it off. Second Hand Smoke took advantage of a split pack to claim lead jammer, then called off after picking up four. L’exi Cuter responded with a three point jam, making the score 23–11 dolls.
Bombshell jammer Fannie Tanner, recent graduate of the Minnesota RollerGirls Debu-Taunts, got caught behind a pink three-wall consisting of Sweet Justice and two of her Debs coaches: Hanna Belle Lector and Tiki Torture, allowing Psycho Novia to power ahead for lead jammer and then skate around for a grand slam. After Fannie took a trip to the penalty box, Psycho raced around the track for 10 more points, making the score 38–11 Dolls.
Ova Achieva then scored nine points starting alone on the track, but was chased down by Fannie who scored three after completing her penalty sentence. Bombshell jammer Freeze Baby escaped first from the outside of the pack to become lead jammer, but was then run down by Second Hand Smoke who engaged jammer-on-jammer, forcing Freeze to call off the jam 0–0. L’exi took advantage of a D-Rough whip to collect lead jammer and four more points. Angelfire and Fannie Tanner then took turns in the box each on major track cuts, with Angelfire picking up eight points and Fannie picking up four in a full-length jam. At the half: Dolls 55–22 Bombshells.
Psycho Novia took lead to open the second half, but L’exi took advantage of a fractured pack from a failed knee start to pressure her into calling off the jam. Both teams started the next jam with a full box, and the jammers approached together for a 0–0 jam. Dolls Rookie Bombs Over Bacon lined up against veteran L’exi Cuter for the next jam and shot ahead for lead jammer, but with L’exi close behind had to call off for another scoreless jam.
A Second Hand Smoke major penalty on the next jam opened up a power jam opportunity for Fannie Tanner. The Orange pack of EmaLeethal, Venus ThighTrap, Stryper, and Bully Jean worked together to slow down the pack, goating one pink blocker after another and clearing room for Fannie to make two clean scoring passes. Fannie called off the jam with time left on Smoke’s penalty, allowing Messi Jigler to start alone for the next jam. Using the odd angle of the penalty box to her advantage, Smoke exploded out of the box for lead jammer and scored four. Psycho added one point on the next jam, making the score 61–32 dolls.
L’exi forced herself through a pink pair to claim the next lead, picking up four before heading to the box on a major track cut, allowing Ova Achieva to pick up 4. Second Hand Smoke started the next jam alone and scored four points before calling.
On the next jam, Naughty Kitty jammed for the Dagger Dolls, delivering the orange jammer into the backside of Olga Ogilthorpe, then raced to the outside for lead jammer. The pink wall of Olga, Lydia Punch, and Angelfire held strong for the duration of the jam, allowing Kitty to pick up 14 points and bring the Dolls lead to 84-40.
Psycho and L’exi traded 4–0 jams, which meant an 88–44 lead for the Dagger Dolls with 4:48 on the clock. Facing what derby fans may call an insurmountable deficit (44 points down with under five left to play), the Atomic Bombshells showed no signs of relenting.
A Second Hand Smoke major cleared the way for Fannie Tanner to pick up nine points on the power jam. L’exi Cuter took advantage of another Bombshells power jam to put up 20 points to Naughty Kitty’s three. With 16.3 seconds on the clock and fans on the edge of their seats, the Bombshells called timeout. Dolls up, 91 – 75.
Freeze Baby lined up against Second Hand Smoke with a 3–2 orange pack advantage and the full attention of the entire Roy Wilkins crowd. As the pack skated around turn 2, Freeze Baby cut to the inside for lead jammer. After a Freeze Baby grand slam, Freeze and Smoke skated until exhaustion, trading four point passes for the remainder of the jam clock. Freeze baby earned 15 points in the jam, but Smoke and the Dagger defense held off the Bombshells enough to give the Dagger Dolls a victory. FINAL SCORE: Dagger Dolls 100-90 Atomic Bombshells.
Garda Belts vs. Rockits
The first jam of the second bout started with Rockit Harmony Killerbruise lining up against Tara Bichapart of the Garda Belts. Both jammers were stopped by opposing packs through the first turns, but Rockits Vuedoo Prodigy and Coochie Coup pushed Bichapart to the outside as the pack circled back, clearing space for Harmony up the middle. Killerbruise raced around the pack for four quick points and called off the jam. The Rockits scored 14 more in the next three jams, creating an early 18–1 lead.
With 13:31 on the clock, Tara Bichapart used her long legs to step right through the inside of the Rockits‘ wall, claiming lead jammer. Tara came full speed around into the pack, crashing into the back of Honeydew Felon, which resulted in a major back block call and a power jam opportunity for Rockit Frau Scientits.
Frau capitalized on the power jam to rack up 24 points against the Gardas. During Frau’s final scoring pass, Gardas Scootaloo and Rumblebee managed to trap the Rockits’ jammer, but Scootaloo was sent to the box on a major penalty as the jam clock wound down. Scarmen Hellectra picked up three points on the next jam to make the score 46–5 Rockits.
Harmony started alone on the jammer line at 9:56, and put up two highlight-reel moments in a row. As the pack stepped off the pivot line, Harmony glided through an impossible hole to clear the pack as lead jammer. Then during her first scoring pass, Harmony absorbed a directed Tara Bichapart hit by spinning around twice on the track, holding her balance while she called off the jam.
Moto Fluzzi stepped up to answer the Rockits’ flurry of points on the following jam. After being knocked to the outside by the Rockits’ Kit Shinkicker around turn 1, Moto legally re-entered, then sprinted through the middle of the pack to become lead jammer. Patently Offensive was in pursuit, but suffered an equipment malfunction as she lost a kneepad cap into the crowd. Luckily, Dagger Doll Hanna Belle Lector, then sitting trackside, returned the missing cap. Patently was able to re-enter the track, but not before Moto Fluzzi fought through the pack for a grand slam.
Fluzzi scored another five points as Patently got held behind a Garda wall, and a third grand slam after Patently was sent to the penalty box and a split pack forced the Rockits to let her through unchallenged. 15 points for the Gardas left the score at 50–20.
After Shiva Shankin added five more for the Gardas on the next jam, A Rockits power jam and 4–2 pack advantage allowed Harmony Killerbruise to add 20 more to the Rockits’ total. KillaHertz followed scoring five on a power jam before being sent to trade places in the box with Moto Fluzzi, who scored four while KillaHertz served equal time. KillaHertz scored five more after re-emerging from the penalty box, bringing the score to 80–29 at the half.
The Garda Belts defense came out strong in the second half with a three-wall of Rita Rawkus, Citizen Pain, and Anita Spankston holding Scarmen Hellectra while Tara Bichapart scored four quick points. The next Garda pack of Rawkus, Wolfe Bite, and Betty LaRude then claimed the front to allow Moto Fluzzi to score two and call off the jam before KillaHertz could score. Spankston, Pain, and Scootaloo held Scarmen Hellectra through a Bichapart scoring pass on the next jam, and a major penalty sent Scarmen to the box and opened up nine more Bichapart points. Moto Fluzzi started the next jam alone on the jammer line, but a huge hit from Buzz Tightrear sent her to the ground. Fluzzi fought her way back through the pack and then back around twice for 13 points.
Harmony restarted the stalled Rockits with a fourteen-point jam; the Gardas’ Rumblebee answered for four. The Rockits took a timeout before the next jam with a full penalty box and another skater queued up to serve a penalty. Harmony raced to pick up lead jammer and coordinated a fast Rockits pack to burn a full two minutes of clock time. In addition to keeping the Gardas from scoring, it also cleared the Rockits penalty box.
Tight packs, recycling blockers, and offensive pack play meant shutouts for both teams over the next four jams. Time ran short and the Rockits took over. Scarmen took the lead and scored four for her Rockits with only a few minutes remaining. After another two scoreless jams. Patently Offensive and KillaHertz each claimed lead jammer as the clock ran down to 0:00. FINAL SCORE: Rockits 104 – 58 Garda Belts.
This victory thrusts the Rockits forward into the Championship bout in January against the Dagger Dolls. The Garda Belts and Atomic Bombshells will play for third.
In Tribute to Lucas Saugen!
You may have met him; you’ve certainly have cheered for him. Lucas is the man behind the jump suit, but he’s so much more. Lucas Saugen has had a hand in many aspects of the MNRG over the years. From production to photography to being a vital coaching component on the Debu-Taunts, Lucas has influenced much of what the league has become. Our appreciation for his work is unending. Thanks, Lucas.
Thanks to Garrison Killer for letting us fill in as reporters and for providing ample guidance, to the MNRG Stats Team for assisting with bout details, to all the RollerGirls who agreed to be interviewed after the bout, and to the entire MNRG organization for treating us very well on bout day.
- Jessperate Measures and Fire Wally, special to the MNRG
More News
Seeing Double Recaplet: Rockits beat Dagger Dolls
February 19, 2012
Rockits 106 - Dagger Dolls 45
Seeing Double: the Preview
February 13, 2012
The MNRG return to the Xcel Energy Centre…this time for a remix of the Dolls/Rockits season finale.
Hook, Line, and Sink Her: Minnesota All-Stars rush past Old Capitol City, 362-58
February 07, 2012
In the Minnesota All-Stars’ opening bout of 2012, Iowa City’s best take on the #2-ranked league in the North. Minnesota welcomes Iowa City with a resounding win.
Hook Line and Sink Her: Miss Quitos nose ahead of Loon-a-Ticks, 96-67
February 06, 2012
The Rockit/Garda Belt superteam come back from a 14-point deficit at the half, takes advantage of penalty trouble by the Atomic Bombshell/Dagger Doll skaters and charges ahead for the win.
Hook Line and Sink Her Recaplet: MNRG takes out Old Capitol, Miss Quitos overcome the Loon-a-Ticks
February 04, 2012
MNRG All-Stars 362 - 58 OCCRG, Miss Quitos 96 - 67 Loon-a-Ticks
