2011-2012 Season Schedule
Get ready for a season eight with the Minnesota RollerGirls - Minnesota’s original roller derby league.The fall bouts will feature your favorite four home teams and the winter/spring months will feature the All-Star bouts.
Saturday, October 15
Saturday, November 19
Saturday, December 17
Saturday, January 21 (home team championship)
Saturday, February 4
Saturday, February 18 with Minnesota Swarm
Saturday, March 3
Saturday, March 31
News
Bout Preview: Whitewash: the preview
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Preview for Season Championship:
The Minnesota RollerGirls have crowned league champions for seven years. On Saturday at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium in beautiful Saint Paul, MN, the Rockits and the Dagger Dolls will play for the championship and the right to inscribe their team’s name on that glorious Golden Skate trophy. The Atomic Bombshells and Garda Belts will battle as well to place third in the league. These will be the hardest-fought matches of the season thus far; each team has something to fight for; each team’s path to victory is uncertain. Let’s break down these matches.
Dagger Dolls (3-0) v Rockits (2-1, reigning champions) - the battle for the Golden Skate
The Dagger Dolls and the Rockits entered last year’s championships in exactly the same position; the Dolls broke their double-digit losing streak with three confident wins, but the Rockits raised their game and took the championship trophy.
The Rockits – as long as they have been existence (the Rockits blasted from the ashes of the Silver Bullets in Season One) – have always made it to the championship. Love them or hate them, they are the Oly Rollers, the Ric Flair of Minnesota derby; if you want to be on top, you have to beat them. They are the four-time champions of this league; they’ll be skating for their fifth championship – and their second back-to-back championship.
The Dagger Dolls have won the Golden Skate once in the seven years of the MNRG’s existence. They had a dry spell for many years, but this season’s Dolls are playing at the top of their game. Their first meeting with the Rockits in October left the reigning champions on the ropes, 86-49.
Here’s what to watch for from the Dolls:
Dagger Doll jammer depth - The Dagger Dolls have been effective in the past two years because their defenders open lanes for their jammers…and their jammers trust those lanes. You can’t buy that level of teamwork, and it’s given the Dolls the capacity to field a wide variety of potential threats.
Psycho Novia – One of the best, and getting better with every stride. Psycho - now captain of the All-Stars along with Juke Boxx (also a Dagger Doll) stopped being ‘just a jammer’ years ago. Said one opponent of Psycho, “She’s the friendliest person on the track…but when she lines up against you, you suddenly remember she’s a monster.”
Dolly Defense – The Dolls know how to wall up or to take a knee at the start of a jam…but their defense is proactive; they will try to hole up their opponents in the front as their rear defenders come in from behind. If a Rockit jammer has been held for a few seconds in the pack, they had better be nervous; Tiki, Juke Boxx, or Naughty Kitty are about to clean their clock.
Second Hand Smoke – Whether playing as SHS or Killaman Jaro, the Dolls’ #9 is explosive on the turns and is relentless until the whistle blows. She gets called on a lot of penalties, but Smoke’s impact on the Dolls has been significant this season. Watch for her with the jammer star or alongside Juke Boxx, hunting for stray Rockits.
As to the Rockits:
Harmony Killerbruise – Day in and day out, Harmony’s the backbone of the Rockit jammer rotation. The woman is an unstoppable force and rarely makes a wrong decision. Whether as lead jammer no-looking a call of the jam just as her opponent is about to start scoring or calling an audible to her pack, she plays and encourages smart, effective roller derby.
Triple-Triple threat – Scarmen Hellectra, Killahertz, and Rockit captain Frau Scientits. With the unexpected loss of Commander Nix during the All-Star season, these three agile, speedy blockers have been taking their place at the jammer line and have widened the Rockit scoring threat well beyond Harmony and Patently Offensive. At the same time, each can control the pack as a pivot or just throw an opposing player into the audience. They will be played heavily in a variety of roles. If the three can get traction in the pack and stay on the track, the Rockits will probably take the win.
Penalty trouble – The major chink in the Rockits’ plan of attack this year has been their inability to keep their jammers out of the box. In their first match up against the Dolls, the Rockits spent five precious minutes of time without a player able to score because of penalties. That can’t keep happening; what’s more, jammer penalties often start an avalanche of same-team blockers into the penalty box as the jammer-less defense freaks out. That can’t happen this time for either team; both the Rockits and Dolls can turn a game around in the time of a single power jam.
Bringing up the rear – This has been a good year for the Rockit back game. Vuedoo Prodigy continues to clean up with Honeydew Felon, but at long last, more Rockits seem excited about being in the back of the pack. Maybe it’s the new scrum defense so popular in national roller derby; whatever it is, we’re seeing more Rockits than ever protecting the rear, and that’s good news. That is, as long as they head forward when their jammer gets lead so that they can stop the opposing pack in its tracks.
This is the big one; be prepared for some twists and turns before the end.
Garda Belts (1-2) v Atomic Bombshells (0-3) – the fight for 3rd:
This bout is go time for the Atomic Bombshells. The Bombers are currently 0-6 in home team play; their last victory dates back to 2010. Nonetheless, the Bombshells are clearly the best team that we’ve ever seen with that sort of record, and they keep almost winning. ABS games go to the final minutes every time…and each game seems closer. They have a wide assortment of jammers, their blocking staff is excellent in the clutch, and the shifting walls in front can be cruel, even to an experienced jammer. They just need a win.
Meanwhile, the Garda Belts have never finished last. They have played in the third-place bout five times, but they have never finished last in the league. They always find a way to get through. This year, they boast several excellent scorers (including – arguably – one of the finest jammers in Minnesota) along with a who’s-who of lead-robbing defense. Tradition demands that they will win. Tradition is apparently a Garda Belt fan.
Keys to the Atomic Bombshell victory:
Stop. That. Gorgon. – The Gardas are going to play their MEDUSA card early and often, and it will take the ABS working in concert to stop that Garda jammer from snaking through. The Bombshells often play a clearing tactic where the first seconds are spent bringing their jammer to the front; it may be that their initial surges in this bout will be to instead collapse upon the Garda scorers.
Final exam for the rookies – It wouldn’t be a year of the MNRG without a new set of promising Bombshell rookies. The ABS took in five players. Many have contributed in the pack, but rookies are often considered to be easy marks to stride past on the track. With the closeness of their recent games, every point will be critical for the Bombshells. The Bombshell rookies must execute on their teams’ tactics, firm up on the turns, carpetbomb their opponents with hits, and – most importantly – not be a point.
Easy as 1-2-3 – The Bombshells rely on a rotation of clean-skating jammers that fly from the back line faster than anyone. Those clean runs through the pack are critical in this bout; the Gardas’ Anita Spankston and MEDUSA have shown themselves able to score quad-grand slams when given the opportunity on a power jam. ABS defensive tactics give their jammers the lead a great deal of the time. Their jammers in heavy rotation – L’exi-Cuter, Freeze Baby, and rookie Fannie Tanner – must take advantage of that and keep it clean as they blaze trails through the pack in this bout. Lead jams without penalty trips will be fundamental to victory.
Keys to the Garda Belt victory:
MEDUSA and More – All of the Gardas jammers must have a good bout. The chances are very good that the ABS will put powerful blocker lines every time against MEDUSA, so everyone else – most notably Moto Fluzzi, Tara Bichapart, and ShivaShankn– must find paths through the ABS pack as the game progresses. Side note for those curious: the word is that neither Suzie Smashbox nor Scootaloo will be playing in the final bout. Moto, Shiva, and Tara…get ready to wear the jammer star.
Saying goodbye to the penalty box – The Gardas have a significant experience advantage against the ABS; their players know how to get in front of advancing opponents and suck their momentum dry, but good pack tactics only work when there’s a pack on the track. If there’s one thing that will bring a smile to the faces of the less-experienced Bombshell team, it’s a penalty box full of Garda Belts.
Blockers together - there is nothing more sweet than a precise, tactical hipcheck. In the past, Gardas dove in on their opponents without backup, often whiffing and cursing loudly. This season, Garda enforcers lie in wait while their teammates wall up an opponent to give them a clean shot at knocking a woman halfway into the stands. The Gardas will always hit hard; if they can do so as a team this year, they will escape fourth place yet again.
That’s it, folks. Two incredible games, culminating in the Home Team Championship bout of the MNRG. We’ll have great halftime music from the School of Rock All-Stars, and Surly will be joyfully served all night. Join us at the afterparty at O’Garas and buy your favorite player (or team, if you’re feeling spendy) a beer. We’ll see you at the Roy!
Reporting from the exact geographical center of roller derby,
-Garrison Killer
More News
Seeing Double Recaplet: Rockits beat Dagger Dolls
February 19, 2012
Rockits 106 - Dagger Dolls 45
Seeing Double: the Preview
February 13, 2012
The MNRG return to the Xcel Energy Centre…this time for a remix of the Dolls/Rockits season finale.
Hook, Line, and Sink Her: Minnesota All-Stars rush past Old Capitol City, 362-58
February 07, 2012
In the Minnesota All-Stars’ opening bout of 2012, Iowa City’s best take on the #2-ranked league in the North. Minnesota welcomes Iowa City with a resounding win.
Hook Line and Sink Her: Miss Quitos nose ahead of Loon-a-Ticks, 96-67
February 06, 2012
The Rockit/Garda Belt superteam come back from a 14-point deficit at the half, takes advantage of penalty trouble by the Atomic Bombshell/Dagger Doll skaters and charges ahead for the win.
Hook Line and Sink Her Recaplet: MNRG takes out Old Capitol, Miss Quitos overcome the Loon-a-Ticks
February 04, 2012
MNRG All-Stars 362 - 58 OCCRG, Miss Quitos 96 - 67 Loon-a-Ticks
