garda-logo-160x160Garda Belts

Suzie Smashbox #91

Suzie Smashbox_Season12

Position(s): Jammer, Blocker

Derby Career:

  • Minnesota RollerGirls: Garda Belts

After having nine rowdy boys on the cold Iron Range of northern Minnesota, Suzie's parents were thrilled to welcome a sweet baby girl. Little did they know what they were in for... Learning early to keep up to her brothers, Suzie fell into her atrocious ways. Before long, she was expelled from the Girl Scouts for dropping wood ticks in little girls' curls and knocking the boys in the kneecaps with a tractor iron every time they called her short.
Upon strong recommendations from her behavioral therapist Suzie decided to try out sports. After seeing the legendary goon Tony Twist destroy another man's face on the ice, she decided hockey was her best bet, and she had finally found someone to look up to. A natural speed demon, her bestial ways transferred effortlessly to the ice and she was quickly leading her team in penalty minutes. Yet her Bertuzzi-esque dreams came crashing down the day she was booted from the league for smashing a ref's head through the penalty box. Once again Suzie's anger got the best of her and she found herself in confinement for Assault With A Deadly Hockey Skate.
It didn't take long for word to travel to Saint Paul about Suzie's speed and aggression. Garda Belt captain Desi Cration made a visit to Suzie and offered her a rollergirl try-out upon release. Out of prison and angrier than ever Suzie made her way through tryouts claiming the spot as number one draft pick by holding nothing back. With the rollergirls she found there isn't any glass, there aren't any sticks, and there aren't so many limitations to what she is ""allowed"" to do, especially now that she's on the other side of the law.


  • Graffiti on trains


  • When it gets sloppy

Awards & Accolades:

  • Crowd Favorite
  • The Lappy Award
  • Most Valuable Minnesota RollerGirl
  • Volunteer Lover
  • Most Valuable Garda Belt
  • RollerGirl Who Showed the Most Love
  • Team Spirit
  • The Hungriest Butt
  • Rookie of the Year
  • Number 1 Draft Pick