All Stars

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All Stars

The Minnesota RollerGirls All-Star team is an elite group of derby soliders dedicated to defending the Minnesota RollerGirls top ranking.

Coming out of the gates with an impressive showing at the 2006 Dust Devil Tournament, the All-Stars rely on the same qualities that have brought the league success: organization, focus, discipline, and an unshakable confidence. Training includes a heavy summertime physical training regimen of intense core conditioning, arduous endurance drills, and a continuous focus of the perseverance of mind over matter.

It's no secret that the Minnesota RollerGirls are one of the more intimidating teams in flat-track Roller Derby; their reputation has been sealed by they way they win their decisive, hard-hitting bouts and never take defeat without a fight.

The Minnesota RollerGirls All-Stars cherish the privilege of representing the Minnesota RollerGirls in the amazing sport of flat-track Roller Derby and look forward to playing — and defeating — every league in the nation!

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Seeking Volunteers

If you, or someone you know, would like to be a part of the magic and become one of our official volunteers, please email us at volunteers@mnrollergirls.com. Volunteers need to be 21 and able to work ALL of the remaining bouts. We are specifically looking for people for the merch booth at this time as well as a single volunteer for security. Volunteers will receive a free t-shirt and free PBR at the bouts.

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Rockits launch; Garda Belts take one against a new Bombshell lineup

On December 13th, the eighty women of the Minnesota RollerGirls donned again the colors of their home teams; Garda Green, Dolly Pink, Bombshells in biohazard orange, and Rockits in shiny red. The slate's been cleared and - at the start of the night - each team had no wins and no losses to their name. The long trek to April's season championship began anew.

Before the opening bouts, fans were treated to a stunt show by the Alt Bike and Board Team as well a Queen of the Rink exhibition by the Twin City Terrors. Some early scrimmaging by the Twin Cities' only man-derby team showed off the skill hard-earned through training with their coaches. Our own referee Rocky Whorer took the final bout of QotR, while our janitorial commando Wet Spot, Texas sensation Johnny Pocket Rocket, Wernh...

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2009 Home Season Preview :: Part 2

A lot of new blood in the Dolls. This isn't exactly a surprise; the Dolls have welcomed some great players into the fold in the last two years, and the new crop...well, I guess we'll see. The first looks are promising.

But let me get to the Garda Belt/Atomic Bombshell game. If the first game looks like a foregone conclusion on paper (and it shouldn't, but it'll just make the win that much sweeter if the Dolls pull it off), the second bout is just a mess. But it's a glorious mess. Follow along.

- Suzie Smashbox. MNRG Derby Sensation, co-captain of the Garda Belts, co-MVP, our own Joanie Weston, the golden girl who will drink you under the table. You cannot beat the Garda Belts without finding ways to keep Ms Stutter-step from triple-slamming you. Last year, I wrote that Suzie was m...

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2009 Home Season Preview :: Part 1

New season of home teams. Four teams. Five games. Seven thousand sports cliches. One Golden Skate.

The sane and the brief would take a look at the MNRG All-Star roster and simply ask for the Rockits to play the Garda Belts so we can get this over with. You can make a strong case that the teams are the most likely to reach the finals in April.

But you know...that's just a lot of nay-sayery, to quote the immortal David Sedaris (#3 on the NPR list of people to riff off the name of if Garrison Killer ever gets pulled from me for some reason - I'll let you work out #1 and #2)

But let's show the work for the case anyway. It's my party. The core of the MNRG All-Stars have been Garda Belts and Rockits this season. With Stella and Roxanne receding from sight, the Dagger Dolls had exactl...

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Minnesota overtakes Madison at final whistle, 89-87.

The Dairyland Dolls -- the travel team of Madison's Mad Rollin' Dolls -- have played the Minnesota RollerGirl All-Stars four times over the course of their incorporation. These bouts are tough, and you never come through one without a story to tell. Whether the madness of an outdoor bout in the pouring rain in their early days or some very "naughty" play by the DDs in their first bout at the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium (how did that extra piece of derby gear get on the track again?), there's always a story. Saturday was no different.

Four times Minnesota had met Madison, and four times the double Ds have defeated the MNRG. That perfect record came to an ...

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No Future for Polyester; Punks Defeat Disco, 70-40

As a precursor to the highly-anticipated Madison v Minnesota bout, MNRG brought us an exhibition bout; an iteration of that eternal struggle between might and right, pretty and powerful, DIY and DIOTDF (Do It On The Dance Floor)... punk versus disco.

Dudezilla took a quick lead for the Punks, grabbing the lead while her teammate Optimiss Crime momentarily plastered Disco jammer Sparkle Ninja to the outside. Dudezilla lapped and passed the pack for four, but Ninja took two before the jam was called. Disco sent Joscelyn D'Jewels next to jam against Mary Tyler Roar. MTR stepped through Joscelyn on the back turn, causing enough interference to get the lead. JJ got further stymied by Punk blocker Norah Torious, and MTR earned nine points for the Punks. Disco jammer CleoSPLATra came ...

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Minnesota Defeats Killbillies in Triumphant Return Home, 158-46

After six months of rest and much touring as a travel squad, the Minnesota RollerGirls All-Stars returned to the Legendary Roy Wilkins Auditorium on October 18th. Ranked 18th in the nation and fresh off of Eastern Regionals, the MNRG invited 35th-ranked Northwest Arkansas' Killbillies to its opening bout in front of 2500 Twin Cities fans. NWA brought a team that had been playing together since March and fought against the Minnesota defense all evening long.

With full introductions from our announcing staff (and Scotty Cruz's statement that "We Play Dirty, Don'tcha Know…" sending a roar through the Roy just as loud as the introductions of individual players), the NWA and MNRG lined up for the first jam. Suzie Smashbox, a darling of the MNRG...

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Zombies Devour Delicious Rum-soaked Brains in Exhibition Bout

The Pirates/Zombies rumble comes in part from an idea that our RollerGirls stumbled across while touring the nation; many teams will run a full-blown Sanctioned WFTDA Bout as well as a game that gives the rest of its league a chance to strut its stuff for the fans. This bout also gave the MNRG a great chance to introduce their newest members without putting the hometeam records at risk. The teams might not have worried; many of the rookies of Minnesota’s oldest flat-track team won hearts and fans in their very first bout.

Pirate co-captain Mary Tyler Roar began her third season for the MNRG against Zombie rookie Jocelyn D’Jewels. Flora Flipabitch kept Jocelyn back long enough for Roar to sneak past Candi Pain and take possession of the first lead jam. Mary scored four points ...

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WFTDA Regionals 2008 Recap

The MNRG all-star team travelled this past weekend to the home of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls of Madison, WI to play not one, not two, but three bouts before enthusiastic crowds at the (take a breath before you say it) Women’s Flat Track Derby Association’s Eastern Regionals. WFTDA invited only twelve teams east of the Mississippi to compete in Dairyland against the very best of the modern flat-track movement. Placed ninth in the East, Minnesota were serious underdogs, but we came ready to fight.

Now, there’s no need to sugarcoat this. We were knocked out of competition to play at WFTDA Nationals in our first bout against Madison’s travel team, the Dairyland Dolls. Minnesota was hit with penalties right off of the first whistle with a sequence of three jams in which our jammers was s...

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Skate or die: Life with the MN Roller Girls

Read about the exploits of one City Pages reporter as she goes undercover and finds out what it takes to be a Minnesota RollerGirl:

http://www.citypages.com/2008-10-08/news/skate-or-die-life-with-the-mn-roller-girls

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