Feature RollerGirl, April 2007: Nearing the end of her second full season of derby madness, Desi Cration often pauses to look back on her time with Minnesota RollerGirls with a myopic blend of happiness, beer addled satisfaction, and blinding rage. As captain of the Garda Belts, she inherited a team that set the record for most rookies on any team in the history of organized sports. Since then, she has taken a bunch of bright-eyed, bushy-tailed youngsters, and molded them into a group of scarred and hardened women that won't think twice about hurting you for fun. In fact, they rarely think once about hurting you, thanks to Desi's slightly illegal and highly unethical genetic manipulation of her team. Just don't tell her boss what she really uses the lab for. She couldn't be happier to be chosen as the "It Girl" for April, as it finally shows that in order for one to be validated as a RollerGirl, one must become engaged to an announcer. SUPER!!!!!!!!!!

Team: Garda Belts
Name: Desi Cration
Number: 222
Status: Active
Awards & Accolades: 2007 Hardest Hitter (League Award), 2007 Most Valuable Garda Belt (Team Award), 06-07 Interleague Team, 2006 Rookie of the Year (League Award), 2006 Most Valuable Garda Belt (Team Award), 2006 Rookie of the Year (Team Award), 05-06 Interleague Team
Position You Play: Jammer/Blocker
Distinguishing Feature(s) A deviated septum and a fishnet scar
Injuries: Massive hematoma and nerve damage at tryouts. Other than that, the other teams can’t seem to catch up to her.
Loves: Minnesota beaches
Dispises: Whiney bitches who don't like to hit
Penalties, Feuds, and General Bad Behavior: The name “Desi Cration” explains all the bad behavior necessary.
Favorite Derby Moment: Knocking a showboating, backwards skating rollergirl three rows deep at the 2006 Dust Devil tournament
Favorite Song: Stupid Girl
Favorite Drink: A can of Lone Star beer
Star Sign: Shooting

More dirt about yourself:
Desi Cration began her skating carrer in a Vatican sponsered hockey team, where she was routinely sent to the bishops special confessional for hip checking the alter boys into the pews. But after doing the sanctions with a mix of goat's blood and her own sweat, Desi was forced to leave the Catholic church and set out on the road with nothing but her skates and a bad attitude.

After their first successful season, MNRG discovered desi when their recruitment van was unable to get past her butt blocks on I-35. Since becoming a member, Desi has parlayed her derby experience into several non-healing bruises on her body as well as bruised the egos of many of her opponents. Her hopes for the future include a MNRG championship for the Garda Belts and a national championship for MNRG interleague team.